Music News Headline Answers With Mile Marker Zero's
~John Tuohy
June/July 2023 • 6th Edition #103
Metal Pulp And Paper: Thank you, John, for taking the time once again to be part of Metal Pulp And Paper’s music news headlines feature. So, just so everyone knows if they aren't familair, we here at the Metal Pulp And Paper headquarters scoured the internet to find some of the most recent music news headlines from various media outlets out there and turned them into questions for you to answer. So, place your seat backs and tray tables in the upright position, because here we go…
1. Cliffdiver Bassist Survives Near-Fatal Accident
MPAP: Tyler Rogers, the bassist for the emo-punk band Cliffdiver, was almost killed while driving their tour van, leaving their hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma on their way to a music festival being held in Las Vegas, Nevada. Amazingly, miraculously, Tyler survived. It’s horrendous to think you’re driving down the interstate on the way to your next show, something you’ve done repeatedly a thousand times before, and then; like thunder, out of nowhere a metal chain link comes flying through your windshield hitting you point blank in the neck. Once again, a horrendous thought! The impact from the chain link knocked Tyler unconscious, and luckily the incident didn’t happen in the middle of the night or something when everyone could have been asleep and they all could have ended up dead hitting another vehicle head-on. Fortunately, it happened around 11 in the morning with everyone being awake, and drummer Eliot Cooper, who was sitting in the passenger seat at the time, was able to move Tyler out of the driver’s seat and stop the van. And holy shit, this is something you’d expect to watch in one of the Final Destination movies, not have it happen in real life.
So, do you have any life-changing stories or almost deadly events like this one you can tell us about while out on tour?
John: One time, MMZ was playing in Philadelphia, one of our favorite cities to play in. I think this was back in 2015, or so. One of our band rituals is to walk down South Street, and get a delicious cheesesteak from famous South Street establishment Jim’s Steaks before our set. On this particular day, the streets were pretty crowded, and it was the summer, so there were a lot of people walking around, shopping in stores, hanging out on the sidewalk, etc. All of a sudden, we hear a loud “bang, bang!”, and someone screamed, “He’s got a gun!”. Crowds of people immediately start panicking and running away from this area about thirty feet ahead of us. We didn’t know quite what to do, so we jumped behind the nearest car. It was pretty scary, and once we got our wits about us, we ran down the street towards the venue we were playing at and had the door locked. Thankfully, to my knowledge, nobody got hurt that day.
(Editor’s Note: Just to let the readers know how gruesome Tyler Rogers’ injury was ... his carotid artery was punctured, and his jugular was lacerated. And on top of the artery and jugular injury, and losing a lot of blood, he also suffered multiple fractures in his neck. A sheriff at the scene told the band that a large steel chain link was found lodged in Rogers' neck and that it was likely that a semi-truck that was pulling a trailer that had a load-bearing chain strap that had snapped under pressure, launching the chain link across the interstate and through the van window and into Rogers' neck.)
2. Spite Robbed For A Second Time In Portland, Seeks Public’s Help
MPAP: Spite, a metal core band from Southern California has a terrible history with Portland, Oregon. Spite's trailer was broken into with personal items and equipment being stolen after they played a show in May 2018. Spite then returned to Portland for the first time since the robbery four years later and was robbed yet again! It has to be devastating both times, but to have it happen twice in the same city has to be some sort of bad luck you would think, right? Unless you’re a band like Metallica or Iron Maiden who have paid personnel to watch their gear, most bands don’t get that luxury, especially new ones. Most groups have to park their trailers in dark alleys behind the bar or venue, or somewhere in a dark parking lot. What does your band do to take extra precautions to prevent some piece of a shit person from breaking into your van or trailer?
John: We try to take extra precautions with gear, for instance we have these big padlocks that we put on our trailer, as well as carry any small, but pricey, gear items to the place that we are staying if we’re fortunate enough to get a motel or something. However, the biggest thing we do is that when we park the trailer, we try to back up to a cement wall, telephone poll, or something large that prevents anybody from getting inside the doors. In order to get at our gear, they would need to cut the locks, somehow pull the very heavy trailer out many feet, and then steal our stuff. Of course, where there’s a will, there’s a way! Essentially, we are bargaining that all of that is too much of a hassle for your average gear thief to do.
3. Dave Mustaine: Even Days Off On Tour Are Expensive
MPAP: “I think it’s about 45 thousand dollars a day for us to just sit still,” the Megadeth frontman said on a recent episode of The Jeremy White Show. Mustaine went further into detail saying, “show days are even more expensive. There are salaries, hotel rooms, insurance, the busses, the bus drivers, the trucks, and the truck drivers.” Makes you wonder why ticket prices or fees are so outrageous lately. So, what are some things you do to save money while out on tour? Where are your penny-pinching habits? Are you taking the deli trays from the show you just played at back to the bus or the hotel room to eat for later?
John: One of the easiest things to do is eat less frequently, but with high caloric-density meals. That way, we can get away with two meals a day, saving us potentially a third of the food budget. Also, taking showers at truck stops is a viable and cheap option if you decide to sleep in the van instead of getting a motel. This is not the most glamorous rockstar tip, but it can make the difference in a tour being in the red to nudging back into the black when the margins are tight.
4. Taylor Swift Fans Wearing Diapers To Her Concerts
MPAP: We don’t even know where to begin to turn this headline into a question, but we try and tackle it though. Anyways, some Taylor Swift fans are going to some extreme measures so they don't miss a single song she sings at one of her shows. They can’t miss one song seems absurd when she probably sings over 30 or more that night. So, I guess while she’s singing “You Belong To Me,” they can keep screaming in excitement and pee without moving an inch in their seat because they are wearing a diaper. So, is there even a question to this news headline? Hmmmm, how about just giving us your thoughts about it instead? Or, I guess would you ever wear a diaper to one of your favorite band’s concerts, or even to a Taylor Swift show for that matter?
John: The only reason to wear a diaper to a show is if the music is so good, you’re constantly in danger of making a mess in your pants.
(Editor’s Note: Sometimes the porta-poddies can be over a hundred yards away, or the bathrooms are up or down a few flights of stairs, and then most of the time there is a long line to wait, and, of course; if you’re attending the Download Festival you have over 100,000 people surrounding you. So, maybe those Swifties are onto something.)
5. Fever 333 Singer Performs For Crowd From A Moving Ferris Wheel
MPAP: Jason Butler, the lead singer for Inglewood, California’s Fever 333, recently performed while riding on a moving Ferris wheel at a music festival in Germany. This was far from planned by the festival or even the band. Butler is best known for his erratic stage performances, which include nonstop running around, smashing various things onstage, crowd surfing, and climbing the festival stages. In the band’s social media post about Butler’s performance on the Ferris wheel, they tagged the Guinness Book of World Records. I don’t know if they were hoping to gain a World record for the craziest place to perform a song or whatever, but it’s always worth it to try at least, right? So, where is the craziest place that you’ve performed before?
John: We had a gig once playing for “Rap/Rock” night in a venue in Connecticut. This club put on a rap group onstage to do a song or two, then a rock band would set up and play two songs, and this would alternate for the rest of the night. The place was packed with barely any standing room. Right as we were ending our second song, a giant fight broke out in the room, and we were “escorted” out of the building. Unfortunately, the only way out was through the mayhem… carrying our heavy equipment straight over our heads as the fight rampaged through the club! Crazy times, and luckily none of us in the band, or our equipment, was damaged.
6. Paul McCartney Is Using AI To Make A ‘Final’ Beatles Song
MPAP: Artificial Intelligence, meet the Beatles a group that formed in Liverpool, England in 1960 and was a major influential part of rock music history. The Fab Four currently holds the record for Billboard’s Top Number 1 hits at 20. Unfortunately, they would disband in 1970, and 10 years later, John Lennon would be gunned down and murdered in 1980 in New York. Now, 43 years later, a new Beatles song is supposed to be released this year according to Sir Paul McCartney. So, what are your thoughts on AI being used in music technology? Using AI to create a sound or a new musical note is one thing, but should it be used to create an almost perfect life-like voice of a deceased person? Could AI be the final nail in the coffin of making ‘real’ music?
John: I’m really dubious about AI impersonating musicians, artists, and frankly everyone in a creative profession. Call me old school, but I kind of like the idiosyncrasies that us flawed humans have when making our art, and the all-too human struggle this can often take. I mean, I like many talented impressionists, but they aren’t mistaken for the real thing that they are imitating. Far be it for me to criticize Sir Paul, I think that every individual has the right to do what they will with new technology, and decide where the line is for them. It may even be a fun experiment to see how one can enhance their artistic endeavors with AI. I’m far from a music snob or purist in any sense, but for me however, the broader “AI coming in to replace people” in so many sectors of life are troubling on a practical, as well as a moral and existential level. This is why we wrote a whole concept album about this back in 2018, The Fifth Row. We were a bit ahead of the curve there. Luckily, I think there’s always going to be a place for “real” musicians to make “real” music for actual humans; in fact, we’re banking on that for our new album!
MPAP: Well, that wraps things up. On behalf of Metal Pulp And Paper, we’d like to thank you, John, for taking the time to answer these recent music news headline questions. We look forward to what you or your band Mile Marker Zero do in 2023 and beyond. Any last words for all your fans and all the Metal Pulp And Paper readers out there?
John: Thanks for checking out Mile Marker Zero, follow us on all the socials, send us a message, and we hope you enjoy the journey of the new record coming out soon!